July 4th is celebrated as a holiday. It’s time to party with relatives and friends. Time to have fun. I was thinking, since school is out what kind of homework assignment my history teacher would give me for Independence Day
History to is more interesting when I study it as a life learning lesson. When I think about Independence Day and the fire works and the fun I have just hanging out. I also was thinking about what was it like when the United States first celebrated Independence day?

Independence day personally means to me, I’m able to choose what kind of life I want to have. My parents came to the United States from another country. They ran away from their country, because they didn’t have the freedom and safety that we take for grated here today.

My parents don’t speak too often about how bad times were, where they came from. But, I can see the fear still on their faces when they talk about things from the past.

Most of the time my parents live in the present and are happy people. However, sometimes just out of no where the pain shows up in their voices and on their faces. I wish they could forgive the past experiences and just be grateful for everything they have now.

I’m going to give myself a homework assignment. I’m going to discuss what Independence Day means to my parents. Now that they living in a country where we are all lucky to share the freedoms we have, everyday day in every way of our lives.

Happy 4th of July,

Barbara

My Quinceanera is ten weeks from now. Good thing the summer is here and I don’t have the heavy schedule of school to deal with. It’s so exciting with so much happening everyday.

• Both my mom and I are glad we used the free ‘Quinceanera eplanner’ with Priscilla’s book... “it made life so much easier”.
• My mom and I are dealing with all the little things we left for the last two months.
• We are sending out the invitations so they arrive six weeks before my Quince.
• We decided to use RSVP cards with stamped addressed envelopes to make it easier for our guests to let us know if they will be attending.
• My dress is ready. It’s all wrapped up in the closet ready for my big day.
• I went to the hairdresser and we came up with a hairstyle that will be perfect.
• The Corte de Honor rehearsals have been difficult to schedule. I now realize I should have had a smaller Corte. It would have been much easier for everyone. When I chose my Corte it was before the gas and food prices went so high. I hear my parents talking about it all the time. In fact two of my friends had to back out of the Corte because their parents said they couldn’t afford the expenses. They had committed - even by letter, but it was their choice and my parents understood. I was disappointed, but I accept it now.

“I still have ten more weeks to go before my big day.” I’ll keep you posted of what’s happening. No matter what happens.

Got to run. My mom and I are making the favors to give to ours guests.
Your friend,

Barbara

I started out high school as a cheerleader. I always had fun. Cheer though didn’t feel just right. I thought it was a fun and exiting, but it just didn’t feel right.

When people called me a cheerleader, it felt as though they were describing someone else. I knew there had to be another sport out there for me. My gym teacher saw that I would usually finish first when the class would run, and she always insisted on me joining the track team.

I thought that I wasn’t going to be very good, but I decided to give it a try. It was like magic. I felt like I automatically fell in love with the sport. Track consisted of several events and I decided to do distance running because i believe that is my stongest event.

The coaches would hold long practices, including on Saturdays. It was very early at around 6 or 7 AM. I would always be exited to wake up early to run. Now, I’m in the varsity track team and I’m one of the top runners in my school.

The lesson I learned was never be afraid to try something new.

It’s great to be a winner, but most important is to find a sport or anything you do and do your best. You will be a winner then. Because you love what you do.

Go for it girl.

Your friend,

Barbara

Do you worry about never being able to satisfy your parents? Are you scared they will criticize you no matter what you do? Do you think that you’re never going to be good enough? If you do…don’t worry you are not alone.

Sometimes, I worry about those things too. Actually, it’s very common that teens worry about satisfying others. Especially their parents. But, you know what, at the end - the only one you can satisfy is yourself. If you can satisfy yourself , then that’s all you should worry about.

Many teenagers have the pressure from their parents. I should know, because I’m one of them. I got so worried about not being able to good enough, my grades suffered. When I took my math exam, I forgot everything I had learned in class. Some parents mean well, but they are always pressuring their kids, about grades. Even though at times it seems as if our parents don’t understand us. Most often our parents believe in us, but most of the time they think we can do better and then they worry about us too much.

You know - our parents pressure us, but they don’t say they actually are very proud of us…no matter what! Sometimes, the pressure from our parents is so much, we kids have fears of going to High School. I admit, the thought of going on to High School is a little bit scary. At times it’s very scary.

I have thought about my fears and spoken with some other kids and some of my mentors. Now, when I think about when I’m in High School, I know I will adapt to everything. But, the unknown at times is scary. I have tried to relax and think positive thoughts about going on to High School in the fall. I know I have done well in middle school and I think about the positive things that have happened to me in school. I have found that when I don’t stress out - things get better. I have found that when I stressed out… things only got worse. Just believe in yourself and you will be fine. It worked for me and I know it will work for you.

Please send me your comments about what worries you about going to High School. Your stories of dealing with your parents who are never satisfied with your grades or anything you do. Let’s get some discussion going about our fears and worries. Share what’s on your mind. This way no one will feel alone and we can learn from each other.

Send your emails to: Barbara@quinceaneraconnect.com.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Your friend,

Barbara

Planning a Quince celebration wasn’t part of Lucy Flores’ life. At the age of twelve Lucy Flores was responsible for her brothers and sisters. Her mother left the family and her father had to work three jobs to keep food on the table. It turned out to be too much for Lucy, so she ran away from home. She ended up joining a gang.

From there she followed the leaders of the gang. Her story should be an example of what not to do and there has to an alternative. If life is that bad that you think you want to run away, you need to speak with a counselor It’s sad that Lucy Flores left home and found the life as a gang member the only way to survive.

Please read the Lucy Flores story. She spoke to our school and I learned a lot from hearing her speak to us. I will never forget what she shared with us that day.

Every teen should read the Lucy Flores story. Read more.
I would love hear your comments.

Your friend,

Barbara

High school is so confusing at times. Or should I say my life is confusing at times. Last week Isabel and I were best friends. She never did anything without me. And the same with me. I was in her Corte of Honor and I was planning on having her in mine. We talked about everything.

It really hurts that now she has another best friend. How I know this is, I see Isabel at school with this other friend we had. They are eating lunch and doing other things and they give me that look your not included.

Thank goodness I can talk to my mom, because I would really be lost if I couldn’t share my being upset with someone I can trust. My mom says that’s the way kids are at my age. One day you think someone is your best friend and the next day they are your enemy.

Not much fun at times. Oh well, maybe it’s for the best. Now I’m spending more time on my studies and helping my mom with all the details for my Quinceanera.

If you have had a similar experience let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Your friend,

Barbara

I should be happy with my Quinceanera celebration coming up soon, but the person who was my best girl friend has gone behind my back and stopped asking me to do things as we used to do together.

I’m left out, she is now doing things with another friend. Good thing my mom and I have a close relationship. My mom could see I was upset. She asked me what was wrong and I told her. She made me feel better. She said in life we have to give a friendship time. We need to get to know the other person, before we accept the person as a close trusting friend.

I learned a lot being treated by a person who I thought was my best friend and then left out. It still hurts, but I feel I’m lucky to know what this person is like, before she did something that could really hurt me.

I spoke to a few other girls I know and they said the same thing has happened to them. What is a best friend?

Priscilla Mills quotes in her book- Quinceanera Connection -the words from author Kathleen Vail’s book: ‘How Girls Hurt’, “Girls live in a world where best friends can be enemies overnight..where secrets are traded like currency.”

Wow. As I’m writing this blog entry I’m beginning to focus again. That I’m a special person and I deserve friends I can trust: today and tomorrow. So I’m running off to school with a smile on my face. Listening to the words of wisdom from my mother. And how lucky I am to have someone in my life who I can trust forever…my mother.

Thanks mom for being there for me. Make sure you have a trusting adult in your life you can share what’s bothering you. If it isn’t your mother, what about an aunt, grandmother, cousin, teacher or a mother of a friend. Good luck it’s very important to have someone who will listen and support you whenever you need it.

Have you had a person who you thought was your best friend one day and the next day, they look at you as if they don’t know you? Please share your story with me.

Your friend,

Barbara

I just saw the movie, ‘Quinceanera’ with my parents the other evening. The movie was released in August 2006. Even though it’s rated ‘R’ my parents purchased it and we watched together.

My comment is: why did they have to title the movie, ‘Quinceanera’. I thought it should have had a different title. Especially, if they were trying to send a message to the fourteen and fifteen year old Latina girls.

The Quinceanera celebration honors my Hispanic heritage and religion. I felt hurt watching a movie that played on the dark side of the Hispanic culture. The Quinceanera’s Uncle role was very touching. We all need an Uncle in our family who gives unconditional love to his family and is always there when needed.

Check out the trailer of ‘Quinceanera’ the movie on the Sony website. The trailer only shows a short part of the movie though.

Why does Hollywood have to portray the bad side of things? Why can’t they show good examples for teens to follow? Just walking down the halls in high school everyday, there are enough dark side of life scripts that I could make me cry. I don’t have to watch the movie ‘Quinceanera’ to cry. I like movies that make me laugh. Or if I cry, I like to learn something positive from the story.

If you have seen the movie ‘Quinceanera’, let me know what you think. Or any other movie you have seen. I would like to hear your comments.

Hope you will share your thoughts.

Your friend,

Barbara

Anna’s question is…What should I do my parents don’t hear me? All they do is criticize me. I can’t do anything right in their eyes. My mother wants to plan my Quinceanera without asking what I really want. What can I do?

Anna don’t think you are alone. Most teenagers go through a stage in their lives when they don’t understand their parents and their parents don’t understand them.

Some teenagers even feel they aren’t loved by their parents, because of the conflicts that happen at home.
Take a look at the your parents from a distance. Make believe they are someone else’s parents. Look at the pressures they have in their daily lives without you even being there. More than likely they are stressed and worry about a lot of things. A few of them are, worrying about having enough money to pay the rent and other bills, how to keep everyone healthy, how to take care of those who are sick, how to manage things just to keep the family safe and together.

They more than likely look at you as a child at times and at other times a young adult. So there are conflicts just by the change in their attitude toward you. No wonder you are upset and confused. You probably don’t know where you stand with them from one day to the next.
My suggestion is: find a time when your mother and you are alone. Tell her you know she has a lot to do and ask her how you can help her with the chores. Write down where she needs your help. Let her know what your responsibilities are with school, homework and after school activities. Write down your own commitments and give her a copy.

Set up a time schedule when you can do the chores. Let her know if you have a major exam you need to study for or a school project ahead of time. Keep her posted as to how you will adjust your committed time schedule for your chores.

Make sure you do the chores as agreed. Let her know when you have completed your chores. Look at this like a job. You are getting a place to live. Food on the table. Clothes to wear. And many other luxuries in life. So you performing your chores is your contribution to your family. Be grateful for what you have. Many children are homeless. There is always someone worse off then you.
Ask your mother for her comments regarding your work. This is a good experience for you. Speak to your mother with respect. No different than if you had a job outside of the house. Remember your mother has a 24/7 job of taking care of the family and probably working at a job too. When you help her, you are giving her a little freedom.

Try this also. Look into your mother’s eyes and tell her you love her. Give her a hug. You will see things change. I know, because things changed at my house. Once I changed my attitude and looked at my parents differently.
Try it and let me know what happens.

Your friend,

Barbara

It’s back to school. Back to homework and all the other things I didn’t have to think about while I was on vacation. How was your vacation?
My vacation gave me time to spend with my family and thinking about what’s important to me. Starting high school has been more scary than I ever expected. I look back at the past year and now into 2008. I will share with you my Quince Blessings. It was a great thing to do. It made me realize how lucky I really am. I’m now ready to go back to school, feeling much better about myself.

1. I am blessed having two loving wonderful parents: sometimes they don’t understand me and I don’t understand them, but I have two parents who love me. What about you? Think about your blessings.
2. I am blessed with a brother I love and he loves me: sometimes we argue to much, but he is always there for me and I’m always there for him.
3. I am blessed since I have my own bed: there are millions of girls in the world who are not as fortunate as I am. They live in a place that has dirt on the floor and they don’t even have a real bed to sleep in.
4. I am blessed I have a closet filled with stylish clothes. Clothes I was able to choose myself and I know they look good on me. There are girls my age in other parts of the world and even some homeless here in Los Angeles who aren’t lucky like I am.
5. I am blessed because my family and I have good healthy food to eat when ever we are hungry. There are millions of girls in the world who don’t have food to eat when they are hungry.
6. I am blessed because I have good health. There are so many girls my age who are in hospitals with diseases that are limiting their lives.
7. I am blessed since I have the freedom to have friends who I can have fun with and share our days with. There are millions of girls my age around the world who do not have this freedom.
8. I am blessed because I have a computer to communicate with my friends and family. There are millions of girls who don’t have this wonderful opportunity of communication and learning via the Internet.
9. I am blessed since I have extended family who love me and are going to come to my Quinceanera celebration.
10. I am blessed because I am in the advanced placement class in high school. At times I complain about the extra work, but I know that I will have an extra advantage when applying to colleges.
11. I am blessed that I have mentors that will listen to my problems and they help me with my making the right choices for myself.
12. I am blessed because I am learning everyday that I have my own talents and I don’t have to be like someone else.
13. I am blessed because my family and I have shared what kind of Quinceanera celebration I will have.
14. I am blessed since we are all in agreement with my Quinceanera Celebration plans and it’s the best for everyone.
15. I am blessed and proud of my Hispanic heritage.

Count your blessings…Make your own list of sweet 15 blessings. Keep adding to your list everyday. Be grateful of all the blessings you have in your life.

Your friend,

Barbara